


Castiel Now!

by BinJLG



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Crack, Destiel - Freeform, I should be sleeping, M/M, One-Shot, Pure Crack, Rin-chan now!, Samstiel - Freeform, Sastiel - Freeform, Song fic, Vocaloid - Freeform, negative plot, weeb alert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-04
Updated: 2015-12-04
Packaged: 2018-05-04 21:35:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5349356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BinJLG/pseuds/BinJLG
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I am weeaboo trash. One-shot <i>heavily</i> inspired by the Vocaloid song "Rin-chan Now!" I am so sorry.</p>
<p>"If someone had told him a half an hour ago that Charlie would have come running up to him with her laptop and insisted he look at the skype conversation between the Winchesters she dug up where they were acting like “excited teenage fan girls” (as she called it), he would have thought the person was disturbed."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Castiel Now!

**Author's Note:**

> Lyrics to the original song can be found [here.](http://www.animelyrics.com/doujin/vocaloid/rinchannau.htm) Song can be found [here](https://youtu.be/-gf7cc0QV74) (I personally find the music kind of annoying but the lyrics... omg the lyrics are great).

Castiel was having trouble believing what he was seeing. If someone had told him a half an hour ago that Charlie would have come running up to him with her laptop and insisted he look at the skype conversation between the Winchesters she dug up where they were acting like “excited teenage fan girls” (as she called it), he would have thought the person was disturbed. Yet here he was, reading over a rather long exchange between the brothers describing unlikely scenarios involving himself and them.

_Sam: I want to cuddle with Cas. I’d be shaking from nerves, but I’d pin him down and hold him in a tight embrace. …Course, it’s not impossible for him to bite me or something. You can bite me, Cas!_

_Dean: I want to spend the day shopping with Cas, and then casually ask him “so this is a date, right?” just to make him painfully aware of it._

_Sam: Cas **never** takes off his trench-coat. I would totally stitch some small fake wings on the back and wait to see how long it would take for him to notice. But he’d leave the bunker without me noticing and when he got back at the end of the day he’d just hold up the coat and glare at me so I’d feel bad for doing it in the first place._

Castiel sat back from the laptop, incredibly confused. Was this a joke? Was he in some alternate dimension? Maybe if he kept reading he would find the answer.

_Dean: I wanna make Cas the focus of my pampering. While watching him acting nervously and suspiciously because he's not used to having people treat him like this, I want to give him even more attention. I want to spoil him the stupid dork!_

_Sam: I want to do whatever I can to keep Cas from searching the “Castiel” tag on tumblr._

_Dean: At JibCon I wanna see Cas dressed up like Doctor Sexy MD. I’d let my eyes drift to focus on his out-of-place shoes instead of cowboy boots, making him get all grumpy before walking off to change and making me chase after him._

This was a joke. This had to be some sort of bizarre joke. There was no other explanation.

_Sam: I wanna wake up one morning to find a girl version of Cas. I’d stay quiet while we did research for a case cause I’d be too busy getting up the nerve to approach him/her._

_Dean: After Cas tries to bake me a pie, he’ll want to do the dishes while I eat, and I’ll shove him out of the way and insist on doing them myself cause he’s done enough work for today._

…what?

_Sam: I wanna find Cas posing as a stripper for a case he was working by himself even though he knows we hate it when he works cases alone and I wanna see him get totally embarrassed and nervous when he sees me._

_Dean: Since Cas is always so formal, the next time he does that I wanna steer the conversation to me telling him to “loosen up” in a strict tone and him just replying “Yes sir”._

_Sam: When Cas talks about any of the times he’s fallen from heaven, I wanna make some stupid joke about him being an Earth Angel. But since he probably wouldn’t get that reference, I’ll just keep that thought to myself._

“Why would I pose as a stripper?” Castiel muttered to himself, squinting at the screen and tilting his head. “And what is this earth angel reference?”

_Sam: When Cas gets tired because his grace is still recovering and comes to sit with me on the sofa, I want him to lean on my shoulder and sleep so I’ll feel warm._

_Dean: I want Cas to close his eyes and pucker up for me. Then, even though I’d probably regret it later, I’d tease him and just flick his head or something._

_Sam: I wanna run into Cas while he’s wearing casual clothes. He’ll feel uncomfortable and underdressed and mutter something about his usual clothes being at the dry cleaner’s. Then, after I tell him how great he looks in jeans and a t-shirt, I want him to smile and blush cause he usually doesn’t get compliments like that._

Castiel glanced over at the scrollbar and noticed he was almost at the end. Maybe, just maybe, if he finished reading this absurd dialogue, he would find some form of punchline.

_Dean: I want to get a text from Cas that says "I've loved you for a long time" and feel surprised. After I reply "lol really", and get all worked up from his next text that says "I didn’t mean to send this, but you're about the only person I can send this kind of text to." Then I’d get another text that says "I apologize. Charlie took my phone from me", which will make me jaded and unable to believe anything anymore._

Castiel simply stared unblinkingly at the screen for a good five minutes before looking across the table at Charlie, an eyebrow raised. “Please tell me you wrote this as a joke.”

Charlie shook her head, grinning from ear to ear. “Nope! This came straight from Dean’s chat logs! I could even show you how I found them if you want!”

Castiel sighed, not entirely sure what to do. He had always known the brothers were attracted to him, but this seemed to be something else entirely. It made him wonder how long they had been doing this and how long they’d both been feeling like… whatever was being expressed on the computer.

He turned his head as the door to the bunker opened, indicating that Sam and Dean had returned from grocery shopping. Castiel looked over at Charlie, unsure of what to do, feeling anxious and exasperated when she simply waggled her eyebrows and darted from the room.

He felt a hand clap his shoulder and looked up to find a grinning Dean, Sam not far behind him.

“Whatchya lookin at?” the elder brother asked, angling the screen so he could see it.

Castiel simply stared at the brothers patiently as they paled and exchanged nervous glances with one another.

“I believe,” Castiel said, rising to his feet and gently shutting the laptop, “we have some things to discuss.”

**Author's Note:**

> It occurred to me as I was posting this that this could be interpreted as Wincestiel. I didn't mean to put that sort of spin on it, but if you wanna read it like that, go ahead. I meant for this more to be Sam and Dean just gushing over their favorite blue-eyed dorky angel because they feel like they can't talk about it with anyone else.


End file.
